sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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