i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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