a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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