One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
