Where are you?
In a non slutty way
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
