Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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