They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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