I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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