Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
