so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize