he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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