i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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