I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
