So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
