please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize