I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
