I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
