Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
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