I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
