it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
