and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
