I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
