I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
