i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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