Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
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You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
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There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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