The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
