So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
