i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
