I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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