so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
