oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
