she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
