So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Hippo gnu deer
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
