I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Why is there bacon in the couch?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
