I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The struggles of a small town man whore
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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