did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
