Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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