It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just want nice things and good sex
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
