Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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