Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
