I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
