i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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