She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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