she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
