wat bout pragnant strippers??
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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