He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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