is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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