He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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