hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
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im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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