Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
