Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
