wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
