Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
